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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?